So it's now officially the beginning of summer.

With that being said, I can no longer blame my lack of xanga entries on a busy schedule, but rather solely on my lack of motivation/extreme laziness.

However, enough of you (one) has nagged me enough to type one out, so herre we go.

Do you remember the last time you filled up your car with gas?

Good for you if you can.

If you can't remember, or you do not own a car no worries...just follow along.

I only ask because this thought hit me when I was at the gas station.

Overall, I can remember maybe 7 distinct times when I re-filled my car.

The rest of it is only a blur.

So, if you happen to remember the last time you went to Shell or Chevron or some other random gas-station you have a good memory.

Do you remember the first time you ever got gas?

How about the second time? seventh time? thirteenth time?

Probably not.

Why is that?

My theory is that, as time passes, we tend to only remember the important experiences in our lives.

While it's easy to remember a current event (such as getting gas), as soon as the task is complete, the memory of its occurence fades away.

I know...it's mind-blowing.

Take a breath if you have to.

Regardless, the only times in which one may remember re-filling his/her gas tank would be the unique times where emotion was involved.

For example, I would probably remember getting gas if. A) I was the 1,000,000 customer and won free gas for a year or B) I spilled gas all over myself.

The fact that I would be either really happy or really pissed would make such an occurence memorable.

That being said,

I think its safe to say that we live in an "in-the-moment" culture.

There's no way that people will ever remember who the American Idol(s) are/were in 10 years.

Certainly, they could look it up or ask someone who cares....

...but regardless, it's information that is only useful in the "now"

If I can strike up a conversation about Kelly Clarkson (Who the hell is that?....exactly) with a good-looking female, then watching the show was worth my time (and no, I do not watch American Idol)

However, as time passes, so will the memory/me caring. 

To switch gEARS,

They say that elephants can remember everything.

(if you caught the pun, then give yourself a pat on the back...you've been paying attention)

Now if one believes this statement/takes it literally then that means that elephants would remember every little piece of information that enters their brain as well as every experience they every partake in (such as getting gas).

It also means that I definitely be on Dumbo's team whenever we happened to play Trivial Pursuit.

While it would certainly be cool to remember everything that one ever did in life...

Would it really be preferable?

For instance, would I really want to remember the thirteenth time I ever got gas?

Should that memory have as much weight as when my first child is born?

If you ask my opinion, Dumbo has it rough.

Now, onto a conclusion...

Have you ever thought to yourself...

"I don't want to have many regrets when I'm 80 years old"?

Maybe I didn't get the age right, but I'm pretty sure that many people know what I'm talking about.

It's almost as if we believe that as soon as one reaches a certain age, all one does is sit around and think about the past.

It makes sense though...

Sit around in a nursing home...play shuffleboard...watch The Price is Right....eat jello...do other stereotypical old-people things

Not much else to do than just sit around and reflect.

I think one of my fears is that when i reach that point that I'm going to be stuck with some bad memories.

While, I feel its impossible to reach that age and not have any regrets...it is certainly feasible to live one's life so that the good memories outweigh the crappy ones.

I would definitely want to remember the birth of my first child over a time when I filled up my car with gas.

But maybe that shouldn't be my fear.

Maybe I should be afraid that I will never reach a point to even appreciate the memories that I've made.

Much like how I'm only concerned with "the moment" nowadays...what if I'm still that way when I'm 80?

Maybe my daily concerns will be getting my jello and making fun of Bob Barker's replacement (he won't live forever, I assure you)

Maybe I'll be too old to remember anything at all

I guess my point is to enjoy what memories you have while you can.

If one is always living in the moment/thinking about the future, then there's almost no point in living anyway.

Certainly living in the past is just as unhealthy as living in any the present or future, but I think a lot of people have a deficiency of reflection/learning from mistakes

The past is immutable, but certainly not the present or future.

As such, unless you spill juice or something else all over yourself when you are in the act of reading this entry, then it is not something that you will remember.

However, if it means actually heeding what I have to say...then perhaps its not a bad idea.

For the record, I think Apple Juice is the best.

(You can definitely forget that)

Currently Playing Good News For People Who Love Bad News By Modest Mouse The View see related

Well hello there,

Yes, I have in fact found some time to write out some more thoughts of mine. Now, I've been nursing this one for awhile, so don't be too cruel if it I comes off kind of rusty.

Not that I'm always rusty or anything.

Within Greek Mythology, there is a story known as the Myth of Sisyphus. Many of you may have already heard this story or have studied it in a certain English class that I am a student of. Regardless, Sisyphus was a mortal man whom the Greek gods condemned to rolling a giant stone up an endless hill, only to have it roll down to the bottom again after the weight would overcome Sisyphus' strength.

Despite the fact that Sisyphus was supposed to be one of the wisest mortals on Earth, he still ended up stuck in this unfortunate reality of unending burden.

Now, especially during my third year of high school, I am beginning to see my life begin to shape up much like Sisyphus'. If you think that I mean that I push a rock up a hill everyday, then you should probably stop reading and just go do something else.

Or not....it's cool. I don't really mind.

I also do not mean that I am supposed to be one of the world's wisest mortals. Rather, what I'm really typing is that the structure of my week coupled with the work that comes with it has become very repetitive.

And no, I'm not applying this metaphor to all elements of my life, but rather more towards school. Despite any amount of effort, it seems that by the end of the day, all I can do is watch my own rock just roll down the hill.

One might argue that vacation would counter this process, but one would be wrong. Specifically, before vacation I end up pushing the rock farther up the hill. What I mean is that there is typically more work to be done prior to a major vacation from school than there is when there is not. All this means is that I have a longer period of time to watch the rock roll (and no, I did not intend for that statement to look like the style of music).

Now as much as I might complain, I know that there are some people at there that just say "Motherfather this rock" and just forget about it. As much as that action seems appealing to me, I know that it is something that I can never do. This is simply because I think too far ahead into the future. Part of me knows that somewhere down the line, everyone I know is going to have to push that damn thing. More blatantly, when we all go out into the world and have to work a job to support ourselves.  

When that time comes, the people that blew off their work are going to be kind of "rusty" (repetition is good) and perhaps indifferent to the whole process.

Here's my point.

As much as everyone complains about this period of life (and believe me I've heard and spoken plenty), it really is just a way of building up muscle.

To keep with that idea, there are also people who fake the whole process. Sometimes I think cheating is worse than just blowing it off, mostly because the people that say "Motherfather this" are at least being honest.

Stereroids (I.E. building up fake strength to push a rock) may seem to work for awhile, but I think that it actually ruins the whole idea of success. Even if you are like Mark McGwire and retire before you get caught, where have you gotten yourself? I'd rather have the sense of accomplishment than the trophy that comes along with it.

Metal rusts.

Achievement does not.

And as general and lame as that sounds...

Yea, it's mostly just general and lame.

But maybe just a little bit true.

But not true like a beer or anything.

That's just lame.

P.S. I promise my next entry will seem less like a lecture. And if you've gotten nothing out of this entry then at least enjoy the music.

Currently Playing The All-American Rejects By The All-American Rejects The Last Song see related

Hello,

I'm not going to sit here and type out a long entry because frankly I don't have the time.

Go figure.

Anyway, these have been some of the three busiest weeks of my life and I need to finish strong.

Just checking in to tell you all (like four of you) that I'm not dead.

Yet.

Currently Playing Give Up By Postal Service Natural Anthem see related

Minus someone who has broken his/her arm, the general ruling was that spaces are prefered over a large mass of text.

So sorry sorry.

Anyway, I was sitting in an airport recently and I got to thinking (I got to the airport an hour early) about the airport itself. Its funny how much work can get done if you let your mind wander.

Yes...so...I was sitting there and I was thinking about how many possible destinations there could be from San Jose Airport.

I'm sure you could find an exact number, but personally, I think it is more fun to imagine.

Regardless, this led me to think about the wide range of emotion that occurs at an airport.

Theoretically, a wide range of emotion exists anywhere, but I think the airport is a prevalent example.

Let me explain what I mean:

In an airport you have a wide range of people. Now I don't mean like adult vs. child, ethnicity vs. ethnicity, women vs. men.

I'm referring to their reasons for being there/how they are feeling

For instance, one person can be sad while one can be happy.

More specifically, one person can want to stay in that airport with whoever they are with, while the next person can't wait to get the hell out of dodge...

ball.

Either way, I found it interesting to see that such a disparity in emotion can exist in a confined space.

And then I wondered if this analogy could be applied to people in general.

And (drumroll) it does.

Here's my twenty-five cents:

At some points in my life, I'm ready to do something drastic to make change occur. Generally, lots of people want change when life gets 1) boring or 2) hard.

However, there are other points where I want to stop time and just bathe in a moment.

But sometimes those two ideas can coexist.

What I mean is, at some points in life, you are happy with where you are, but are still curious as to where you are going.

And in a way, you wish you could be in two places at once.

I tried to narrow it down and its really a conflict between curiousity and fear.

You don't want to lose what you have, but you also don't want to miss out on anything else.

I think a lot of people struggle with this issue almost everyday and its one that is not really resolvable through thought.

Maybe through experience.

Either way, maybe I should just walk to places from now on instead of sitting in airports.

Currently Playing Take It Easy: Love Nothing By Bright Eyes see related

Since I have been receiving complaints recently about how my xanga entries have massively large spaces between sentences and phrases, I will be doing this next entry without any...spaces that is. Tell me what you think about it and get back to me, because it's never to late to go back to the old way. A few days ago, in Social Justice, my class was discussing how it is that such a huge disparity in wealth can exist in America. Obviously, Bellarmine is in one of the wealthiest parts of the nation and no one is really affected too deeply by this problem (but bear with me.) The beauty of such a situation is that regardless of what a teacher might say or convey, every kid in that class can walk out at the end and completely ignore it. For instance, when we are discussing why people can't make rent in San Jose, people can tune out and think about what they are having for lunch, or whether or not the sound system in their car could use another 'woofer. Regardless, no one in that room could give a motherfunk because they don’t have to deal with if it as long as they don’t think about. However, my favorite is when someone does try to defend the existence of poverty that comes along with capitalism. It's always something along the lines of "Well, the person earned it" or "Not everyone can be wealthy" or "They just messed up their life." See, I could really use a space here. Here's my point: When you are on the top of the pile, it's much easier to just change your perspective than to give up your spot. What I mean is, even our Social Justice teacher knows that no one in that room was going to run outside, give all of there belongings to the poor and spend the rest of their life meditating. But since everyone knows that, they use it as justification to do nothing: to simply tune out and think about their dubs. I used to think that it was an issue of selfishness, but in reality it runs deeper. People don't help the needy because they themselves don't want to be in that position. What I mean is that people are afraid. Every kid in that class learns about how horrible the poverty line is or how hard it is for a single mother to make it, and in the meantime is thinking "I don't want to end up like this." That's why they are at school in the first place. The problem is that too many people are willing to change what they think about the situation rather than lift a finger. Let me give an example. Let’s say you don’t like to clean your room (I know it’s lame but it’s the quickest thing I could think of). You don’t want to pick up anything and so you just let it lie there. Now that, in itself, is bad just because you’re lazy. However, what’s scary if is if you change what you think about it. Meaning instead of acknowledging that your room is dirty, you just convince yourself that it is YOUR room and you can keep it just how you like. You no longer recognize that it’s dirty, rather, you just think of it as just “the way it is.” This is far more dangerous. You are essentially just reprogramming your conscience so that you don’t have to deal with it. In a nutshell: It is far worse to ignore a problem than to recognize it and do nothing about it. You may think Dan, there’s not much of a difference, but there is. The difference is that when more and more people recognize a problem, it is much easier for something to be done about it. For instance, if you have eight people in your room and they all think that it’s dirtier than Michael Jackson, it’s much easier for someone to be like “He this room is dirty, let’s pick it up.” There is a group mentality of getting it clean and doing so is easier because there are more hands to go around. Guilt will eventually overpower inaction, but that guilt will not exist if you drown it in denial and ignorance….So the moral of the story is pay attention in Social Justice class.